i just heard my mom yelling “YOU MOTHERFUCKER” and i was worried my parents were having a fight so i went downstairs to check it out but when i got there my dad was just giggling hysterically and all i could see was a pile of uno cards with a +4 card at the top
is that alan playing on the playground
rebloging for Alan
Do you ever crave to be touched? Even in the most innocent way. I want someone to just hug me for a very long time or someone to lean against/ someone to lean on me. Maybe while sitting or laying next to someone just to have our legs, arms, or feet touching would be nice. I think that when you’re lonely for so long you constantly want to feel someone against you just as a constant reminder that you’re not alone.
back when i was in community college my teacher told us the story of a girl in his class who wanted to have sex with her boyfriend but they didnt have any lube so they used mayonnaise. fast forward a couple of days and she’s getting random orgasms during class and driving places so she goes to the doctor and they check her out and guess what they found
okay ill tell you it was maggots. maggots were in her vagina giving her orgasms.
I’VE WAITED 8734 YEARS FOR THIS GIFSET
IT TOOK ME 11 YEARS TO REALIZE HE WAS SAYING “TABLE FOR HOW MANY”
OMG ITS BEEN DISCOVERED
THINGS IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO BE
- non binary
THINGS IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE
- an asshole
- a goose
this post wasn’t even about social justice it was about my hatred of geese
drive thru employees definitely do not get paid enough for this shit they are sick of your nonsense
"SO HAPPY ITS MY FIRST DAY I HOPE I DO GREAT"
god damn it.
ITS TOO EARLY FOR THIS.
LET’S NOT DO THIS RIGHT NOW
you slick mother fucker
It’s two in the morning for fucks sake.
I am so mad
That’s way too fucking smooth.
yes mom. okay mom I’m shutting it down. its saving. no mom its sAVING THE GAME I CANT SHUT IT DOWN NO MOM JUST WAIT FOR IT TO SAVE I AM SHUTTING IT DOWN
am i the only one who thinks people look hotter when they’re in underwear and not when they’re naked
snoop dogg enjoys a nice refreshing popsicle on a hot summer day